


You Don’t Have to Hug My Shade, Hug Me Instead

by natus_ka



Category: Produce 101 (TV), X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: M/M, cunfusing af, doctor seungwoo, few corny jokes, inner thoughts heavy, it is pretty much about nothing, stalker yohan, very mild form of stalking more like just being a weirdo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-27
Updated: 2020-03-27
Packaged: 2021-03-01 07:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23347906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natus_ka/pseuds/natus_ka
Summary: Yohan got stood up by a guy whom he got to declare love to after stalking him for a month. What is worse this happened on their first official date. Luckily Seungwoo had a good reason and Yohan is very understanding.Stalking, a romantic walk for two which only one of them knows about
Relationships: Han Seungwoo/Kim Yohan
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	You Don’t Have to Hug My Shade, Hug Me Instead

**Author's Note:**

> So I had this trash in my drafts for two months and it is probably the worst thing I ever wrote (and hopefully it stays the worst). Honestly I never wanted to post it but I think I needed a closure as this is most probably my last seunghan fic. The reason is simple, over the weeks I have been slowly transitioning from X1 hyung line to Victon ships (with an exception of Ryeonseung for now) because it is just too hard to vibe with a ship that has no content. 
> 
> So let's pretend I never wrote this as I practically forced myself to somehow patch it up after loosing interest and the final product is a Frankenstein. Oh I feel so ashamed of letting the world see this crap, but I don't want it to hunt me in the future. So please don't take it seriously.

_Saturday, 14 Mar 6:24 pm_

_Han Cinema, COEX_

He reaches again to his coat pocket for his mobile phone which, like just a few seconds ago, is as it was before exactly the same without any notifications, only the time has changed from 6:24 pm to 6:25 pm. It is Saturday evening, White Day. Their movie started 40 minutes ago but he is standing in front of the entrance to the cinema hypnotizing his shoes and occasionally looking around. He is alone, his date hasn't arrived yet.

Yohan looks around again. He notices a few couples walking around, a group of school kids, and he accidentally locks eyes with the female employee who sold him the tickets. She is looking at him quite pitifully. He sighs deeply. "I am so stupid."

\-----

He met his date about a month and a half ago and has been developing a crush on this guy ever since. They met through Yohan's job, which is an unusual place to get romantically involved at. Yohan is a car mechanic.

He saw Mr. Nose Bridge, that's how he had been calling him in his mind before getting to know his full name, for the first time thanks to one of his regular customers – Yibo. The tall blonde let his bike at the shop for maintenance but as his cherished bike was to be kept in the shop the guy needed a lift.

"Is your boyfriend picking you up?"

"Seungyoun? No, he is not. He wanted to but as he is busy he is sending his roommate instead."

"Roommate?"

"Haven't you two been together for some time now?" Yohan looks at Yibo inquiringly. "Why not to fold your wings under the same roof. Also, you not worried he gets taken away?" Yohan provokes with a few rises of his eyebrows.

"Pffff I would never get challenged by Woo." Yibo is holding his torso and laughing. "That guy is a freak, he is so fucking boring that there is no way Seungyounie is interested. And he is not even good looking." He finishes his answer with a great insult on the roommate's account. In Yohan's point of view, it looks more like he is trying to convince himself than to convince him.

"Sorry man calm down" _Maybe I shouldn't have said anything._ And he peeks out of the garage where a car stopped just now. "Your chauffeur is here hot stuff."

Technically that is how Yohan and his date met or maybe they did not since Yohan only saw a glimpse of the other and the guy probably didn't see him at all. But that glimpse was all Yohan needed to get imaginative and idolize the guy just based on his attractiveness which he had seen through a car window from not so little a distance.

Surprisingly, the two met again pretty soon.

"Hello, excuse me? Would it be okay to get this car checked?" There was a ton of mechanics in town but Mr. Nose Bridge certainly had to choose his shop.

"Oh, hey," Yohan's voice wavered a bit. _How could I develop a crush this quickly?_ But he composed himself soon enough before the guy could proclaim him a freak and run away. "Sure thing," Yohan finally got to meet the guy he fantasized about, face to face but the fate made him to look at his car instead of his beautiful face. _Come on man, I have to work why are you being so distracting_.

"Ehm, ehm." The guy reminded Yohan of his presence.

Let's pretend that the mechanic didn't lose himself in the guy's eyes but was just examining under the car's hood without looking because he was THAT GOOD!

"It needs some repairing done but I am not sure when it's gonna be done so-" And then Yohan got an idea, "just give me your name and phone number," _Yohan you are a genius, damn smooth_ , "and I will text you when the car is ready".

"The car isn't mine, so I should give the contact information of the owner I guess."

In just a second Yohan's perfect plan shattered to pieces. _Fuck_ , "of course that would work better" and he gave him the best smile he could while trying to hide the disappointment.

"Han Sunhwa, 051-XXX-YYYY"

_So he has a girlfriend._

"Is there anything you need from me or should I leave now?"

"That's all I need, have a nice day sir."

Later that day Yohan was rolling over in his bed, thinking, or rather creating conspiracy theories. _It might have not been his girlfriend, maybe it was his mother or sister._ "Oh you dumbass, how can you be sure he even has a sister." He said to himself while clutching one of the pillows to his chest. He was acting like a 13-year-old girl who had fallen for Justin Bieber.

That night Yohan made o vow that only after he sees Mr. Nose Bridge's girlfriend he would let go of this stupid crush. It was based on looks anyways. _But his voice was smooth and he spoke very politely. He must be a well-mannered person. He looked educated too._ But yeah until then he will continue having fantasies about Mr. Nose Bridge, whose actual name stayed a mystery, and pray that he gets to be interested in him as well.

The day he was supposed to meet Miss Han, the supposed girlfriend, he realized the God was on his side. His crush showed up instead.

"Man she is gotta have you under her thumb. You are even getting the car back for her, lucky girl she is." Yohan's words felt sour on his tongue but for the sake of putting an end to his crush over the guy he needed to be hit with reality. _Just because it would be inappropriate to keep dreaming about the guy who obviously has a girlfriend and who wouldn't be interested in you anyway._

That day Yohan got to know that the car actually belonged to the guy's sister and by the handsome stranger's own words, she indeed had him under her thumb.

The third time they met, second for Seungwoo; accidentally, of course; Yohan showed he can be brazen and started the conversation with a "stranger" who had a hard time even remembering who Yohan was as he looked completely different from his usual work attire. The two of them bumped to each other in a grocery store and Yohan suggested they walk through the store together. A pretty weird move from Yohan's side.

With a ton of other random encounters, or not exactly encounters, but situations like "why doesn't he wear a scarf he must be cold" to the scenario where Yohan stood in front of Seungwoo's apartment complex with "I am just here to visit a friend, Seungyoun, you know him?" Anyone would be weirded out but Yohan's object of interest was not.

So, when one day Seungwoo entered his favorite café and saw Yohan sitting at his usual place with two cups, he skipped the counter and sat in front of him grabbing the coffee the younger got ready for him. Oh, and on that day he also asked Yohan for his number… _I don’t believe it._

It took the guy, who finally had given out his name – Han Seungwoo, _goodbye Mr. Nose Bridge, that name was awful anyway_ , another 3 days to text Yohan a simple "hey". His crush must have been nervous, forgetful or he just momentarily lost his good manners, because he forgot to write who he was in the message and Yohan got pretty confused for a brisk of a second.

Despite their differences, and we are talking here about quite a different set of personalities, social background, intellect, they kept the conversation going on with satisfying pace. The first shock for both sides came by a fact that Yohan had only needed to finish elementary school to become a mechanic while Seungwoo had spent whole 4 years in high school and 6 more years at university. _A clash of two worlds._

It took them another week to move from texting to phone calls. They took their time with establishing a friendship. There was no reason to hurry. It was better to go with a sustainable pace rather than to run and shatter what they will have built, in no time. Actually, Yohan had to restrict himself. This made him feel a little bored, as he expected from Seungwoo to initiate something or just show more interest since he was the one to ask for his number. The more it took Seungwoo to make a step, no matter how big, to move their relationship somewhere; by this time Yohan wasn't expecting to move to "stages", anything would be fine; the more he started to believe that the older was only looking for a friend. _A reminder of a reality._

 _Get your shit together Yohan, you are whipped for a guy who is either stupid, oblivious or a jerk. Why would he even be interested in you?_ Insecurities are the worst, you live with this perception of yourself that is eating you alive but mostly is just in your head and very different from how others see you or your situation. But insecurities were typical for Yohan. 90% of the time he had disheveled greasy hair, he smelled like petrol, half of his face was covered with black unidentified smudges. He was wearing his old overall with stains all over it, and a shirt with a hole in it underneath. At work, he didn't care about the looks. He looked gross. And for the fuck's sake, he was a car mechanic. Isn't that a turn down on its own?

Maybe Seungwoo was the one to initiate the contact, if we overlook certain "hey what a coincidence to meet you here", but Yohan wasn't going to let it be just a friendship. No. Simply because he had been interested in Seungwoo from the very beginning. Now that they were getting nowhere with Seungwoo, Yohan wanted to get involved, to spice up the game.

Of course, He had asked Yibo specifics about his driver-friend. One could say it clashed a bit with obsession or prepared a soil for possible stalking. _What a joke, you indeed stalked him Yohan_. Luckily for Seungwoo, it didn't get to go too far. But that was that one time and he needed some more information now.

"What do you think about Seungwoo?"

"He is cool. Nothing much?"

"He dating anyone?"

"That guy? No way. With his conservativeness it would take at least a year to get laid, if not more. You interested?" Asked Yibo that afternoon he came back to pick his beauty on two wheels.

Yohan left the studio with smug emoji face that evening and enough material to even blackmail Seungwoo for the rest of his life, Yibo has a big mouth and small brain. He shared those traits with Seungyoun. _Maybe that's why they have been such a good match? They both took a short bus to school._

So now, Yohan was in apartment, fidgeting on the sofa and waiting for another message or call from Seungwoo hoping that this time it will play in his favor. "Your shift ended an hour ago, so why are you not contacting me." _Would it be too much to contact him first? Am I not overstepping boundaries?_ Again, Yohan's insecurity kicked in. Who could have known that stalkers are not just sexual predators but sometimes, quite innocent boys who are just too overwhelmed with the correct procedure of social interactions.

"Yohan you got this, you can be brave. Just this one time." He was telling himself while hypnotizing his mobile phone to make it ring.

And it, for all the surprises, happened, the phone rang, the call got connected and the first what went through the line was Yohan's: "Let's go on a date."

_Saturday, 14 Mar 5:11 pm_

_Seoul National University Hospital_

"Hyung, shouldn't you be going already?" asks Byungchan, his coworker.

According to Seungwoo's calculations, he can still make it on time if he runs to the subway station. He was supposed to leave work when the clock hit five but the intern who was responsible for giving a bag of IV fluids to a patient messed up and the young doc. had to make sure it was done properly the second time.

Seungwoo works at the hospital, a very prestigious hospital to be precise and sadly it is also the busiest hospital in Seoul. On top of that, Seungwoo works at the emergency. What is even worse is that the most prestigious hospitals are also short of staff, it is not anything new that Seungwoo works unholy shifts and stays overtime.

Today, he didn't want to. Luckily those 10 or so minutes won't hurt much, he still has time. Time for their first movie. First dinner. First kiss? He shakes his head in an attempt to not get lost in his fantasies about the date he had planned and Byungchan has to laugh at his hyung's cuteness. Seungwoo hurriedly folds his hospital clothes and hangs his white coat on a hanger inside his locker. He changes into a sweater and jeans. _Seungyoun said this is okay, but is it?_ "Hey Byung, is this too casual for a first date?"

"Tss, tss tss."

"What?"

"Hyung, you look soo BORING how could you go on a date like this." Cold sweat pours over Seungwoo. _Is it really that bad? What do I do now?_ Byungchan senses his panic and starts apologizing for teasing him. "You look good hyung, why not to resign and become a full-time gigolo?"

"Yah! Choi Byungchan!" But before he can throw his shoe at him the younger runs off.

It is 5:17 pm and he is just leaving the hospital. He almost makes a step in the direction to the subway stop when three ambulance cars arrive. He looks at his watch again, 5:17 pm. He sighs, takes out his phone to text Yohan that he will be running late but his phone is dead. _Ah fuck_. But there is no time to worry about that now. The priority is the child that is laying on the stretcher covered in blood. He throws all his thoughts away, there is a hurt child and he is not the type of person to just overlook this. The ambulance worker pushes the stretcher and briefs Seungwoo on the boy's condition while they both enter the emergency ward.

Apparently, a bus got crushed by a truck. 7 people are being brought to their hospital, 3 of them in critical condition including a 7-year-old boy with a punctured lung and internal bleeding.

Seungwoo takes off his jacket, puts on glows and a mask and all his focus is directed solely to the boy. The patient is the priority.

_Saturday, 14 Mar 8:32 pm_

_Food court next to the cinema, COEX_

Seungwoo approaches the table where he has seen Yohan sitting, his back facing Seungwoo's direction. He is extremely sorry and extremely surprised that Yohan is still waiting for him. He approaches the table and the second Yohan acknowledges his presence he bows 90 degrees to show remorse.

The younger gets up from the chair and forces Seungwoo to stand properly and look him in the face. Yohan's lips are red, probably from how strongly he bit them while he was waiting. Seungwoo is then directed to sit on the opposite chair and with Yohan's wave to a waitress an Americano and a carrot cake lands on the table in front of him.

"How?" Seungwoo looks at Yohan confusingly. Not only does he need a coffee as he is tired as hell but this is also his favorite combination!

"I figured you would need it. Also I think you should shut up and catch your breath first, you look terrible."

"I run here."

"Of course you did."

"But how-"

"How am I still here? Interrupted him Yohan. "Did you really think I would wait here," Yohan paused to look at his phone, "for three hours just like that?"

Seungwoo's face sunk again. He is sorry, and there was no way he can say _but_ to Yohan, there is no but, it was his decision to come late. Of course, it was unfortunate that his phone died and the patient… "Hyung, hyung you with me?" Seungwoo looks up to see Yohan's hand waving in front of his face. He didn't realize he got lost in his thoughts. "I asked you if you made a difference?"

 _What?_ Another confused grimace on Seungwoo's face.

_Saturday, 14 Mar 7:00 pm_

_Seoul National University Hospital_

After many failed attempts of calling Seungwoo, Yohan decides to check the older's workplace which was the only place Yohan expected Seungwoo to get stuck at. He knows Seungwoo prioritizes his work too much. _But I hope that is not the case._ _This was supposed to be a date. A long-awaited one on top of that._ Yohan knew a lot of places where Seungwoo could be, for example at home, but he doesn't want to believe that he got stood up.

Plus at this point in their relationship, he has to hide that he knows about Seungwoo more than he has been told. He doesn't want to blow his cover. _Shut up you didn't stalk him, he told you his apartment complex address. Who cares that you know that the wallpaper in his room is light beige which is different from the rest of the apartment because he accidentally picked a wrong can of paint when he went to Walmart after spilling a coffee on the wall._ Yeah, no one needs to know how he obtained this information. Anyway, this information is unrelated to the matter of finding Seungwoo, hopefully at his workplace.

Yohan enters the building of Seoul National University Hospital and looks for an ER. He scans the signal board that hangs on the wall and quickly finds himself standing at ER's reception. The atmosphere in there looks pretty hectic. He randomly grabs some sister's hand to ask, even though she is obviously too preoccupied with her work, but still politely answers him.

"I am looking for doctor Han." She gives him a nod and with a quick long steps she moves further into the ward. Yohan follows her quickly while scanning his surroundings on the way. When she stops abruptly in front of him, he almost crashes her, but she shrugs it off and points to the direction of a hospital bed where Yohan finds Seungwoo.

He is not wearing his white coat and has only some blue plastic thingy over his clothes. His casual light blue jeans and his white sneakers are now tainted with blood splashes. He is 100% focused on the body on the bed.

The rush of the hospital emergency ward is suffocating. The lights are too bright, the people, doctors or patients scream, cry, shout. He feels like as if the time stopped only for him, but doctors don't have that comfort, no matter when and where, they are doctors. There is nothing like "stopping" to notice their surroundings, nothing like having the opportunity to get swayed by the craziness of the ER. He feels confusion, an unsettling feeling, he shouldn't be here, he an anomaly, a distraction, an occupant of space. This is Seungwoo's battlefield and he should leave it to that. No matter how much he wants to be with Seungwoo all the time, there are a few boundaries he shouldn't cross. And despite the wish to stay, he leaves.

_Saturday, 14 Mar 9:00 pm_

_Playground near COEX_

They sit on the swings. The weather is chilly, the night sky wrapped them in darkness. Although the playground is restricted to 16 years and bellow, they sit comfortably on those swings and hold hands together.

"I am sorry we missed the movie because of me."

"I told you to drop that. It is fine. We can go another time." The stars shine brightly. _Maybe we are not predestined to be together._

"But it was supposed to be our first official date." Seungwoo pouts. Yohan's grimace freezes and he lets go of Seungwoo's hand. "What? Did you think I haven't noticed all those moments when you were hugging my shade, put snack bars in the pockets of my coat, went for a walk with me?"

Under normal circumstances, Yohan would run off and never show his face in front of Seungwoo. But seeing how Seungwoo's smile never leaves his face he permits himself to relax. He won't run away this time. Not when someone doesn't find him weird or annoying, when his actions, his tries to get closer to somebody, are not questioned or twisted into some horrible conspiracies.

Yohan stands up and shortens the distance between the two swings. He grips the swing chains, lowers his head and kisses Seungwoo.

"Does this spark a _first official date_ then?"

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to hit me up with suggestions, remind me of mistakes or just talk to me about anything and everything on my twitter @natus_ka_


End file.
